Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
this hospital has no fireball
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
