you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
