If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
