At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
