She went from zero to smokin in five shots
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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