have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
