real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
