I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
