dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
