I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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