Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
