is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
