So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
