I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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