Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
