My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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