I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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