her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
