just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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