Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Randomize
