How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
