It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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