at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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