dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
