i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
