Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
