ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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