Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize