whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
