So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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