Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
