The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
