Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
