He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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