i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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