I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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