I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
