he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
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And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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