It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
