I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
