he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
