My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize