Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
