Ambien. No doubt about it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
