awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
