hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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