I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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