I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
