Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
