Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize