I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
