Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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