his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
