I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Please, let me fuck your mom
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
