I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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