If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
