Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
