My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
