Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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