There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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