his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
