feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
