Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
my liver is dry heaving
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
